First and foremost i'd like to send a huge congratulations to all those who managed to reach the 2018 Comrades finish line at the iconic Moses Mabhida stadium. I'm sure it was memorable π. I was cheering you all from that supporters stand.
To say I’m devastated by my first ever DNF would be an understatement.
I’m shattered with a slight dose of depression- that’s the pain I feel.
So what happened? Well I really don’t know and can’t explain but my body was not responding accordingly from the get go.
We were late for the start and by the time I got there, the seeding panes were closed. So I started right at the end, with Makhi; it took us 11minutes to cross the start line.
The start from from PMB is on a very narrow road so it’s very difficult to pass the runners to try get back the time you lost at the start; so your pace for the first 6km or so is determined by the people in front of you.
I met my teammate Nthwesi and starting running with her, our plan was simple :
- get ahead (and stay ahead) of the 11:30 bus
- walk the hills
- pace not faster than 6:30min/km
- hopefully catch the sub11 bus by halfway
The plan was working well until Nthwesi started having stomach trouble around 30km, the 11:30 bus caught us and passed us. She then had to go to the toilet and I unfortunately had to leave her behind. I passed the 30km cutoff with about 23min to spare.
I set on by myself then with the quest to catch that 11:30 bus again, but it was not to be.
At around 38km, I started cramping on both calves, I stopped several times to apply heat rub and get massages at the physio stations. I could manage the pain by slowing down with more frequent walks.
At around 40km another tragedy- hamstring cramps. Now these totally took me out of the game (damn those hillsπ’). At this point I was walking more than I was running and the clock was ticking away.
We had a seconding point at 42km and the guys were so surprised to see me get there so late. “What’s happening Brian, you ok?” They asked; no I wasn’t okay, I was struggling badly. At that point Makhi’s bus passed me and she called out my name to join her; I couldn’t π’.
I did a slow run/walk to try and manage the hamstring and crossed the Drummond cutoff with about 15min to spare.
After Drummond I learned that this “down run” was not a down runππ, we were still climbing these long steep hills. The cramps got worse as I went along, more walking than running really. I was happy to get my recovery drink at 50km, but it didn’t help much. I was broken. My heart beat and breathing was irregular aswell, but I didn’t entertain the feeling.
57km cutoff was passed with 5min to spare, I could smell the trouble here but giving up was not an option. I wanted a finish so badly, I wanted that B2B medal, i wanted the training and effort I put into this to count for something, I didn’t want to let my team downπ’.
I continued fighting, got a rub at every physio station with lots of motivation from other runners. I got my recovery drink and biltong at 60km and it gave me that warm sense of comfort ππ( I Needed it)
With more walking that running I met Tabisa along the way and we shared the road for some time. The plan was to try and reach the next cutoff in time , but we were both struggling. We missed that 68km cutoff by 2 minutes and we were devastated π’. Nthwesi caught up with me at this point and I had to hold back tears and be strong as her Captain heyπ
Did I mourn? Yes
Did I bleed inside? Yes
Q: So what caused the cramps Brian?
A: Well i really don’t know, I have many theories I can blame but all I know is that I had done all preparation I possibly could and I gave my best fight on the day despite the unfortunate circumstances.
A: Well i really don’t know, I have many theories I can blame but all I know is that I had done all preparation I possibly could and I gave my best fight on the day despite the unfortunate circumstances.
A: I have to hey, I need to heal, forgive myself then go redeem myself.
A green number will not run itself ππ
Q: So do you think you were under prepared for this down run? In terms of your training?
A: Not at all, I actually put in more training than I did last year and this time I was much more confident.
I had a structured training with a mix of hills, speed, strength training and back-to-back long runs. This resulted in a huge improvement in my race time with a half marathon PB of 1h52 and marathon PB of 4h17.
I was physically and mentally prepared for Comrades but I didn’t have a tested solution for cramps; and this is a challenge I had been facing all season. Things just went wrong on the day
Q:Is there any positives about this down run Brian?
A: I didn’t give up, I kept fighting and moving forward until I was told I can’t go any further (cutoff). It doesn’t make the pain any less though ππππ
Q: So what are the lessons in your experience Brian?
A: 1. Never give in, Never give up
I really had a bad day, everything went wrong very early in the race, but i refused throw in the towel. I didn't want to have the regret of "what if i had managed to walk all the way to the finish line; i'd have got my medal and B2B"
I really had a bad day, everything went wrong very early in the race, but i refused throw in the towel. I didn't want to have the regret of "what if i had managed to walk all the way to the finish line; i'd have got my medal and B2B"
2. Anything can go wrong on race day.
Muzhingi had a bad day, Mamabolo had a bad day, Sir-Brian had a bad day; it's all part of the sport. Just because you worked hard to prepare for something doesn't mean all the odds will be on your side on the day.
3. You realize it's not the end of the road
I honestly didn't believe this for the 3 days after the race when i was still mourning ππππ, but Comrades will always be there. It will outlive all of us.
4. Stay away from antibiotics in endurance sport
My daughter had a flu 2 weeks before Comrades. I consulted a doctor (so that i don't catch it also) and was prescribed antibiotics which i finished 5 days before Comrades.
Do i blame the antibiotics for the cramps? I would like toππ, but there is no scientific evidence linking the 2, and its not mentioned in the medication post-side effects (i stand to be corrected here by medical experts). But this is the only thing that changed in my last 6 weeks before Comrades.
5. You're forced to revise your approach
Cramping had been an issue that was bothering me all season. I tried different products but none worked. I really didn't expect to cramp at Comrades because i'd be running much slower than my marathon pace. So back to the drawing boardπ
6. You seek out inspiration through others
What hurt the most was being surrounded by a bunch of winners when i didn't get that medalππ, but that's just life hey - you don't always get to win. Instead you should learn to draw inspiration from those winners around you, they all have a story of the struggles and failures (yes, they have their own failures that you might not know about).
What I came to realize was that many people had failed numerous times before succeeding. I was too hard on myself. So I needed to lighten up and just enjoy the journey rather than focus so hard on the final destination.7. Find the reason WHY you run
During our comrades breakfast we had Shahieda(Makhi) as our guest speaker, and she taught us this important concept. "The reason why you run" will be your pillar of strength when the going gets tough and the wheels come off.
You will draw strength from that well; endure and take the pain just for that reason - and you will feel so fulfilled in the end.
For me, i fought back because my daughter sees me as her champπ
Shout out to @Rise18
8. Experience
So the 3 days after Comrades when i was crying mourning and depressing myself to a pulp, my teammate asked me some questions
- "How will you help people not to be DNF if you have never experienced it?",
-"How will you understand people's pain if you're always on top?"
You will honestly never understand what someone with a DNF goes through until you experience it yourself, hence it will be difficult for you to advise or counsel that person. Leaders are people who experience the rough side of life but are still able to rise above these circumstances.
9. No one is bigger than Comrades.
We all put in a lot of time and money in preparation for Comrades. We sacrificed a lot of things that we love - family time, church, beer etc- just for that one day.
The carnage you see along the way during comrades - people vomiting, fainting, cramping, crying, carried into ambulances; That's when you realize how BIG Comrades is; and no one is bigger than Comrades.
10 Forgive Yourself
Always remember that this is not our full time job, we do this for fun. Some people run 5km fun run and we're crazy enough to run a 90km fun runπ.
So don't be too hard on yourself, remember to have fun in the process and not take disappointments too personal; and then be kind enough to forgive yourself when things don't go your way. Tomorrow is another day.
On a final note, yes i worked hard in preparation for Comrades, yes i went to war and and unfortunately didn't win the war. I came back alive to live to fight another day, stronger.
Someone saw my struggle and gave me this advice: Just walk until they take you off the road. That way you will not be saying "could have, should have".
I didn't lose, i just ran out of time ππ
Kind Regards
Sir-Brian
(1 time Comrades finisher)
(Ps: Special mention to my Wife Nokulunga and my teammate Nthwesi for helping me turn this into a positive story and not a sorry sob story where i was crying my heart out, lolππ)
I didn't lose, i just ran out of time ππ
Kind Regards
Sir-Brian
(1 time Comrades finisher)
(Ps: Special mention to my Wife Nokulunga and my teammate Nthwesi for helping me turn this into a positive story and not a sorry sob story where i was crying my heart out, lolππ)