5.4 RESIGNATION FROM ADULTHOOD

I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult. I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an eight-year-old again.

I want to go to McDonald's and think that it's a four-star restaurant.

I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make a sidewalk with rocks.

I want to think M&Ms are better than money because you can eat them.

I want to run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer's day.

I want to return to a time when life was simple, when all you knew were colors, multiplication tables and nursery rhymes, but that didn't bother you because you didn't know what you didn't know and you didn't care.

All you knew was to be happy, because you were blissfully unaware of all the things that should make you worried or upset.

I want to think the world is fair. That everyone is honest and good.

I want to believe that anything is possible. I want to be oblivious to the complexities of life and be overly excited by the little things again.

I want to live simply again. I don't want my day to consist of computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, how to survive when there are more days in the month than there is money in the bank, doctor bills, gossip, illness and loss of loved ones.

I want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, justice, peace, dreams, mankind and making angels in the snow.

I want to play with my pets and my days of imagination to last forever

So here are my cheque-book and my car keys, my credit card bills and my insurance statements. I am officially resigning from adulthood.

And if you want to discuss this further, you'll have to catch me first because, "Tag! You're it!"

5.3 JOB APPLICATION AT MCDONALDS FROM 17 YEAR OLD

NAME: Mike Sithole

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries

5.2 APPLICATION TO REJECT REJECTION LETTER

 Dear Sir / Madam,

Thank you for your letter of 5th June 2010. After careful consideration I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me employment with your company. This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of... rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates it is impossible for me to accept all refusals. Despite your company's outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time. Therefore I will start work with your company on Monday 30th August 2010 at 8.30 am. I look forward to seeing you then.

Regards

Your employee to be.

5.1 SIGNS THAT YOU'RE AFRICAN

 10. GROOVY - real meaning: very pleasing.

Black meaning: 340 ml soft drink can.

9. COLD DRINK (pronounced coldrink) - real meaning: opposite of hot drink.

Black meaning: any soft drink especially coke.

8 SCUFFTIN - real meaning: scuff- mark resorting 4rm scraping..Tin- can.

Black meaning : lunch box.

7. I AM SURE (pronounced amsho) - Real meaning: I’m certain....

Black meaning: maybe.

6. DOUBLE UP(pronounced dablap) real meaning : twice as much in size.

Black meaning: short cut.

5. STRAIGHT BACK. Real meaning: extending continuously in a backwards direction without curving.

Black meaning: corn rows.

4 BALL PEN (pronounced bolpen) - real meaning: ballpoint pen.

Black meaning: any pen

3. RELAX - Real meaning: calm down.

Black meaning: chemical hair straightening.

2 BLIND real meaning: lacking sight.

Black meaning: very much

1. PUSHBACK .real meaning: cause to move back by force or influence.

Black meaning: very popular hairstyle where hair is combed away from face

4.6 Anon Quotes

**This here is just a collection of my favourite quotes, they keep me focused and motivated on those important things in life**   :)

 
- A friend is someone I can be sincere with, someone I can think out loud to!

- It’s not that they can’t see the solution. It’s because they can’t see the problem!

- If you want your dreams to come true, get out of bed

- You can’t build a reputation on what you're going to do

- The world hates change, yet it’s the only thing that has brought progress

-Unless you try to do something beyond what you have mastered, you will never grow

- When you can’t have what you want, it’s time to start wanting what you have

‎-Let not your deepest fear be that you are inadequate but that you are powerful beyond measure

- The best way to gain self-confidence is to do what you are afraid to do.

-Success comes in “cans”, not “cant's”!

- The difference between try and triumph is a little oomph.

- When the world says, "Give up,” Hope whispers, "Try it one more time."

- There is no telling how many miles you will have to run while chasing a dream.

- Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone.

- Before you can be old and wise, you must first be young and stupid

- Every man has an equal chance to become greater than he is

-When opportunity meets preparation, history is made

- Winners never quit and quitters never win

- Do it now because today will be yesterday tomorrow

-If we don’t change, we don’t grow. If we don’t grow, we aren't really living

4.5 SUCCESS AND BUSINESS ETHICS

**This here is just a collection of my favourite quotes, they keep me focused and motivated on those important things in life**   :)

- Don’t be afraid to give up the good to go for the GREAT! - John D. Rockefeller

- We first make our habits, then our habits make us - John Dryden

- To be successful, you have to be able to relate to people; they have to be satisfied with your personality and to be able to do business with you and build a relationship with mutual trust. - George Ross

- I've always found that the speed of the boss is the speed of the team - Lee Lacocca

- The hardest thing for your competitors to match is the most unique aspect of your organisation - the MINDS and HEARTS of your employees - Lee J. Colan

- You start losing a client the moment you get it - Jay Chiat

- The big shots are only the little shots that keep shooting. - Christopher Morley

- There is one cause of human failure,. And that is lack of man's lack of faith in his true self. - William James

- When you undervalue who you are, the world will undervalue what you do and vice versa -Suze Orman

- Whether you believe you can do a thing or not, you're right - Henry Ford

- Whenever you see a successful business, someone once made a courageous decision - Peter Drucker

- A big man is one who makes us feel bigger when we are with him - John C. Maxwell

- When people can see which direction the leaders are going in, it becomes easier to motivate them - Lakshmi Mittal

- If you treat your staff as your equal, they'll roll up their sleeves and get the job done. John IIhan

- In the past a leader was a boss. Today's leaders must be partners with their people, they can no longer lead based on positional power - Ken Blanchard

- Watch, listen and learn: you can’t know it all yourself...anyone who thinks they do is destined for mediocrity. - Donald Trump

- A leader leads by example not by force - Sun Tzu

- I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious - Albert Einstein

- Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve. Thoughts are things!

And powerful things at that, when mixed with definiteness of purpose and burning desire can be translated into riches - Napoleon Hill

- The roots of true achievement lie in the will to become the best you can become - Harold Taylor

- Ability is of little account without opportunity - Napoleon Bonaparte

- This one step - choosing a goal and sticking to it - changes everything - Scott Reed

- One that would have the fruit must climb the tree - Thomas Fuller

- We aim above the mark to hit the mark - Ralph Waldo Emerson

- You have to put in many, many, many tiny efforts that nobody sees or appreciates before you achieve anything worthwhile - Brian Tracy

- It takes 20years to build a reputation and 5 minutes to ruin it. If you think about that you'll do things differently - Warren Buffet

- Management is efficiency in climbing the ladder of success; leadership determines whether the ladder is leaning against the right wall - Stephen R. Covey

- The older I get, the more I see a straight path where I want to go. If you're going to hunt elephants, don’t get off the trail for a rabbit - T.Boone Pickens

- Perseverance is failing nineteen times and succeeding the twentieth - Julie Andrews

- People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing - Dale Carnegie

- Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm - Winston Churchill

- Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you're doing, you will be successful - Albert Schwartz

- Desire is the starting point of all achievements, not a hope, not a wish but a keen pulsating desire which transcends everything - Napoleon Hill

- That some achieve great success is proof to all that others can achieve it as well - Abraham Lincoln

4.4 GOALS, HOPES AND DREAMS FOR THE FUTURE

**This here is just a collection of my favourite quotes, they keep me focused and motivated on those important things in life**   :)



-"The poorest person in the world is the one without a dream and the most frustrated person in the world is one with a dream that never becomes a reality" -M.B Shana-

-"Do not follow where to path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."~Ralph Waldo Emerson

-"For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. You receive from the world what you give to the world."— Gary Zukav

-We are now at a point where we must educate our children in what we knew yesterday & prepare our schools for what no one knows yet - Margret Mead

- No matter how far you've gone on the wrong road, TURN BACK! - Turkish proverb

- Let go of your attachment of being right and suddenly your mind is more open, you're able to benefit from your unique view points of others without being crippled by your own judgement - Ralph Marston

- Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going - Jim Rohn

- The time is always right to do what is right - Martin Luther King, Jr

- Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. ~Thomas Edison

-If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door - Milton Berle

- People see what they are prepared to see - Ralph Waldo Emerson

- You must begin thinking of yourself as becoming the person you want to be - Viscott, David

- Be brave. Even if you're not, pretend to be - no one can tell the difference Life’s Little Instruction Book

- Failure is simply opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently - Henry Ford

- It’s not because things are difficult that we don't dare, it is because we don't dare that they are difficult - unknown

- Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal. ~Henry Ford

- Don't let anyone steal your dream. It's your dream, not theirs. ~Dan Zadra

-When the only tool you have is a hammer, every problem you encounter tends to resemble a nail- Maslow's Hammer

-"Don’t ever slam the door, you might want to go back - Herold, Don

-Ability may get you to the top, but it takes character to keep you there - Wooden, John

-Champions are not those who never fail; they are those who never quit - Edwin Louis Cole

-VISION alone is not enough; it must be combined with VENTURE. It is not enough to stare up the steps; we must step up the steps - Vance Havner

- You must have long term goals to keep you from being frustrated my short term failures - Charles C. Noble

- Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal - Sydney Smith

- There is always another chance, this thing called failure is not falling down, but staying down - Mary Pickfold

-A determined person will do more with a pen and paper than a lazy person will accomplish with a personal computer - Caroline Pulsifer

- All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them - Walt Disney

-Shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you'll land among the stars. - Les Brown

-If you can’t make a mistake, then you can’t make anything - Marva Collins

- Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear; not the absence of fear - Mark Twain

-The whole world steps aside for the man who knows where he is going – Anon

- I will master something, and then creativity will come - Japanese Proverb

- Don’t be afraid to take a big step. You can't cross a chasm in two small jumps - David Lloyd George

-We are not animals. We are not a product of what has happened to us in our past. We have the power of choice. - Stephen R. Covey

-We don’t know who we are until we see what we can do - Martha Grimes

4.3 THE JOURNEY CALLED “LIFE”

**This here is just a collection of my favourite quotes, they keep me focused and motivated on those important things in life**   :)




- Life is to be lived, not to be understood. ~ Feras Yaghmour

- There are 2 forces that unite men, fear and interest - Napoleon Bonaparte

- If we don’t change, we don’t grow. If we don’t grow, we aren't really living - France, Anatole.

- A dream is just a dream; a goal is a plan with a deadline - Harvey Mckay

- "Imagine for a moment, a perfect future. Now take that memory of the future and bring it here into the present. Let it influence how you will behave this moment on." ~Deepak Chopra

- The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams - Eleanor Roosevelt

-"Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you; as what your attitude brings to life."~Kahlil Gibran

- 'Do you really want to look back on life and see how wonderful it could have been had you not been afraid to live it!' - Caroline Myss

-My life is my message. –Gandhi

- Speak when you're angry and you'll make the best speech that you'll never regret -Dr. Laurence J. Peter

-When something important is going on, silence is a lie - A.M. Rosenthal

- Don’t take life seriously; you will never get out of it alive - Van Wilder

- Choose your life-mate carefully; from this one decision will come 90% of your happiness or misery - H. Jackson Brown, Jr

- You don't drown by falling in water, you drown by staying there -Edwin Louis Cole.

- Everything that is happening at this moment is a result of choices you made in the past - Deepak Chopra

-The shell must break before the bird can fly. ~Alfred Tennyson

- Don't find fault. Find a remedy. ~Henry Ford

-God give me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the courage to change those which I can and the wisdom to know the difference" - Reinhold Niebuhr

‎-What happens is not as important as how you react to what happens. - Thaddeus Golas

-Our greatest strength as a human race is our ability to acknowledge our differences; our greatest weakness is our failure to embrace them - Judith Henderson

- Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there - Will Rogers

- As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they are doing - Dale Carnegie

- When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we don’t see the one that has been opened for us - Hellen Keller

- Most people give up just when they're about to achieve success. They quit on the one yard line. They give up at the last minute of the game, one foot from the winning touchdown - H. Ross Perot

- Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die tomorrow - James Dean

-The difficult is that which can be done immediately, the impossible is that which takes a little longer- George Santayana

- When I hear someone say that life is hard, I am always tempted to ask, "Compared to what?" - Sydney Harris

- There are two ways of facing difficulties; you alter the difficulties or you alter yourself o face them - Phyllis Bottome

- If it fails, admit it frankly and try another, but above all try something - Franklin D. Roosevelt

- The "pursuit of happiness" is the most ridiculous phrase, if you pursue happiness you'll never find it - C.P Snow

- In the confrontation between the stream and the rock, the stream always wins - not through strength but perseverance - H.Jackson Brown

- If we don’t discipline ourselves, the world will do it for us - William Feather

- We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons. - Jim Rohn

- If you want more, you have to require more from yourself - Dr Phil McGraw

- Ability is what you're capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it - Lou Holtz

4.1 WORDS FROM THE VINE- "WISDOM"

**This here is just a collection of my favourite quotes, they keep me focused and motivated on those important things in life**   :)


-The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. ~ Proverbs 9:10.

- It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish. ~ Aeschylus

-Better be wise by the misfortunes of others than by your own. ~ Aesop

-Wise men profit more from fools than fools from wise men; for the wise men shun the mistakes of fools, but fools do not imitate the successes of the wise. ~ Cato

- There are many who know many things, yet are lacking in wisdom. ~ Democritus

- The best and safest thing is to keep a balance in your life, acknowledge the great powers around us and in us. If you can do that, and live that way, you are really a wise man. ~ Euripides

-To the fool, he who speaks wisdom will sound foolish. ~ Euripides

- And in knowing, that you know nothing, makes you the smartest of all. ~ Socrates

- Wise men say nothing in dangerous times - John Selden

- A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds - Francis Bacon

- "It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit."- Harry S Truman

-The ultimate measure of man is not where he stands in the moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy - Martin Luther King Jr

-Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power - Abraham Lincoln, 16th president of the USA

-If you don’t have integrity, you don’t have anything. You can’t buy it - H Jackson Brown

- You can have all the money in the world, but if you're not a moral and ethical person, you really have nothing - Henry Kravis