3.5 Tips to understanding Men

Women usually go to their girlfriends when they don't understand their man's actions, needs or wants. You don't understand your own man so how do you trust your girlfriends to give you men-advice. Steve Harvey wrote a book called “Act like a lady, think like a man” and did a really good job in breaking it down for the ladies and clearing their assumptions and confusion. If you're a woman and have never read that book then you MUST get a copy. This is for the wives and girlfriends who wants to tighten the bond with their man

Men are very easy people to understand, I have broken it down into 3 parts, the basic fundamentals...

Part 1

What Men Want in Women

Remember that these are generalities, the top seven qualities that a reasonably healthy and balanced man wants. Some men might reorder this list, take things off of it, or add other things to it.

Talk to your man and find out what he believes is important in a woman. Do it as early as possible in the relationship so he is not influenced by what he already knows about you. If he doesn’t know or won’t talk about it…well those are some warning flags that he might not be a very good communicator or not be paying much attention in his own life.

1. Beauty – Each man has his own idea of what physical beauty in a woman is. Even though the outer package may be the first thing that catches a man’s eye, the inner beauty is what will hold his attention for many years. A man wants his woman to add beauty to his life by the way she dresses, by the way she moves through life and social interactions, and by the way she decorates the home. So you makeup and mascara is good ladies, but we don’t really care about all that at the end of the day!!
2. Femininity and Nurturing – A man wants to be nurtured and mothered. A man wants to witness his woman nurturing his children or pets or even others in appropriate social circumstances. A man wants to feel the presence of feminine energy in his life.
3. Playful and Fun – A man likes to play with his woman, to take time out of the seriousness of life to enjoy living. He likes to hear a woman tell cute stories and see her face light up with love, laughter and delight. I want to cuddle and carry you around.....I just want to be free and have fun when I’m with you!!
4. Sensuality – A man loves a sexy woman! A woman who knows how to touch and who allows him to see and touch her. (Hint: Don’t always make love in the dark!) A man wants a woman who can delight his senses through food, beautiful fragrances, and even texture and colors.
5. Youthful Energy – Life can get too serious; it is easy to get caught up in duty and obligations. A man wants a woman who can balance the necessities of life with spontaneity and who can look at the world with awe and enthusiasm as if she were a young girl. This is not about chronological age but about attitude and energy.
6. Social Planer – Men like to have women keep their social life alive; to plan and arrange interesting and exciting adventures with friends and family and out in society.
7. Stability and Dependability – A man wants a woman who is honest, reliable, and capable. A man wants a woman who can take care of herself and is emotionally stable., No drama ladies!!

 Part 2

 What Men Want in Their Relationship

1. Love and Partnership – Yes a man really does want to be loved and a man wants someone he can safely give his love to. A man wants a partner who will work with him in building a life together.
2. Peace and Freedom – A man wants to be free to be who he is. He does not want to have to fight or defend who he is in his own home or relationship. No drama please ladies!!!
3. Stability and Security – A man wants a life he can depend on. In many ways a man loves a good! A man wants to feel like his partner is not going to leave him or cheat on him. Financial security is a big part of this too.
4. Adventure and Excitement – While it might seem like a contradiction to stability and security, a man does like to take calculated and contained risks....adrenalin rush!!!!
5. Logic and Reason – A man wants things to make logical and rational sense. A man likes to know why you want him to do a certain thing and what you hope to gain from doing it. you can’t just do something aimlessly for no reason.
6. Self Esteem – A man wants to feel good about himself. He wants to be seen as competent, capable and strong. He wants a partner he is proud to present to others. SO a the lady you have to motivate that part of him and compliment him
7. Honesty and Fairness – A man wants to do the right thing and wants to do his part to make sure the right thing is done in his life and his world. This is one of the reasons men tend to be disciplinary, and join the police or military or at least admire them.

Part 3

-At the core of every happy man is the successful warrior and hunter… at the core of every woman is the loved and cherished nurturer. Thus, to allow this synergy of difference, men need us to allow them to be men

-Men are happiest when their woman is also happy

 Start to meet your man with praise and thankfulness for who he is and what he does and has done.  When you’re happy, he's happy… When you’re not happy, he feel in many respects that he's failed as a man.

 -Communicate

 Tell him what and why: what it is you love about him or something he does, and why it's important to you (i.e. how it makes you feel)

 -Perhaps it’s time to stop waiting for him to love before you love… why not trying to give without expecting anything back?

Within human needs psychology, there are 3 levels:

• Level 1 is the base level. It’s where a person solely seeks what they can get from the relationship.

• Level 2 is when each person seeks to both give to their partner and also receive from their partner.

• Level 3 is when a person gives out of love, not seeking anything in return.

What level are you currently operating in? Why don’t you decide that, without even thinking about what you may or may not get back, you are going to learn to speak HIS language and meet him at his point of need. You are going to build him up and allow him to see that he is appreciated, valued, respected and loved by his woman. Instead of just focusing on the things he doesn’t do (where all he hears is “You’ve failed me again!), why not help him see that (regardless of faults and frustrations), he is amazing!!! Allow him to feel success, pride and esteem… to feel that he is a true man. Thus, as the proverb says, “Be as wise as a serpent, yet as gentle as a dove.”. Know when to speak and not speak. Seek only to build up, and in no way to destroy.

Ponder points

Men are emotional beings just like women, although we don’t like showing that part of us to everyone because we egotistically regard it as a weakness. So that means you'll never see me cry, I cry behind locked doors and come out with my macho face, because I’m the man - I’m supposed to provide and protect (ego speaking), but that doesn’t mean I don’t need that comforting hug from my woman, whose going to tell me that we're going to be OK even when we're in the deepest of trouble..

“I enjoyed reading that… very honest input. In your Part 1, I agree with 1-7, that defines a well-rounded woman..aka.. the total package. You are talking about being more than just beauty and brains- its character, humility, being kind hearted, respectful. Women should aspire to that.. As a Christian I would add point 8. Spiritual – A man wants a woman who knows and loves her Lord. A woman with whom he can worship and praise the Lord with, A mother who will raise their children knowing and loving the Lord.

You keep mentioning “ladies no drama” lol…some men can also be drama queens! In fact.. a man having to too much ego can be soooo off putting. Men need to have that shit in check!! There’s a point when too much ego equals arrogant and there is nothing attractive about that. It just makes you look like a damn fool. (I’m not a fan of egotistical guys) lol”. - Tendai Marjory